![]() Sara Schairer is the founder and executive director of COMPASSION IT, a start-up nonprofit organization and global social movement whose mission is to inspire daily compassionate actions and attitudes. Unfortunately, suffering isn’t going anywhere.Įxperience the above four steps during the month of October through COMPASSION IT’s 30-Day Compassion Challenge. Practicing the above four steps will help us step up to the suffering we encounter each day. Every person has a mind, and every person has a body and heartbeat. This step challenges us to recognize the basic commonalities between all humans. ![]() It’s not as easy for me to have compassion for people I don’t know or for people whom I don’t particularly like. ![]() I find it pretty easy to offer compassion toward my family and friends. After cultivating awareness and learning how to feel compassion and aim it toward ourselves, we can strengthen our compassionate attitudes by extending it to everyone around us. It’s time to broaden this circle of compassion. Not to mention the fact that self-compassion is linked to greater happiness. People with self-compassion are more likely to take ownership for their own mistakes, and higher levels of self-compassion have been linked to less procrastination. Research indicates that self-compassion benefits us in many ways. Have you ever paid attention to your inner voice? ( Watch this Dove commercial for a perfect example of this.) We often use harsh words and are overly critical of ourselves. This can be a pet, a friend, a family member, or anyone that easily gives us “warm fuzzies.”Īfter we get our compassion juices flowing, we can direct that feeling toward ourselves.įor many people, this is a difficult step. Having compassion for a loved one allows us to practice compassion for someone that can easily conjure up compassionate feelings within us. No one teaches us to take care of our own suffering.īefore we practice the next step (self-compassion), it can be easier to first connect to the feeling of compassion for others. We are taught to take care of others, give back, and push forward. Step 2 – Compassion for a Friend or Family MemberĪ loving/kindness meditation typically begins with compassion for one’s self, yet we often can’t easily connect with the concept of self-compassion. Is there tightness? Are we thinking about something we did “wrong”? Are we worrying about something that’s out of our control? Let’s notice, accept, and breathe. Let’s all put our phones away, move away from our computers, take three deep breaths and notice what’s happening in our own bodies and minds. Mindfulness allows us to notice what’s happening within and around us. We can’t offer compassion if we don’t see suffering. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.” - Dalai Lama Tweet It! “If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. Stanford University’s Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and education created Compassion Cultivation Training (CCT) I’m a certified teacher of the course, and I’d love to share four of the main steps of CCT with you. ![]() If you want to be happy, practice compassion.” There’s a good amount of science to back up that statement. How does compassion help? You may have heard the Dalai Lama quote, “If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. Because of compassion, I’m learning to stay present with suffering without running from it, without getting overwhelmed, and without pretending that it doesn’t exist. Sometimes I avert my eyes or run away from it, but somehow suffering always catches up with me. Suffering surrounds us, and it’s hard to take. I haven’t read today’s heartbreaking story about the latest ISIS victims, I haven’t crossed paths with the homeless people in my neighborhood, and I’ve yet to call my friend who can’t find work. It’s not even 8:30AM, yet I have already felt sadness, anger, and frustration. My back begins to hurt, I’m late for a meeting, and Hannah is complaining of a stomachache. I can feel the bitter feelings of a painful divorce bubbling up. Her dad moved 30 miles away, and I’m stuck with the burden of the long commute. Sitting in traffic, I stew in frustration. But inside I’m feeling inadequate and ashamed. Hannah laughs and calls me “The Forgetter” (the not-so-endearing nickname she’s given me), and I laugh. I then realize that we don’t have milk, which means dry cereal again. Fifteen minutes and five more (not as sweet) requests later, she finally gets out of bed. I sweetly ask my daughter, Hannah, to rise and shine.
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